There has to be something wrong with my bike, I hope...

I just don't get it. I've been training since July 21st, and my bike riding speed has essentially not changed. Today, I did a ride and averaged 23.3 kph. My very first ride was 22.4 kph. That initial ride was so out of shape that I could hardly keep my head up. 

Fast-forward 7.5 weeks, and I'm only riding 23.3 kph after a minimum of 60 hours of training. How the F#ck can that be?

I started looking at bike times in 2020 when I wasn't in great shape. My average speed was anywhere between 27 kph and 29.9 kph, which is where it should be. Since then, I have yet to average 25 kph. To put that in perspective, the speeds I'm averaging right now are mountain bike speed averages. 

The only thing it could be, or hope, is that the wheel bearings are rubbing, and resistance is slowing me down. All I could think was that it had to be the bike. If not, do I have some sort of Lou Gerhigs disease or something? Or have I passed my prime so extreme that I'm now an old man? Yet, other guys I raced with in the past, the same age as me, are still crushing it. 

I was looking at old triathlon pictures to see the type of sunglasses I was wearing and started looking at the dates. The last half of Ironman I did was the Peasantman in 2019; before that was my previous Ironman Colorado in 2014. I was out of shape that race, and did I think a 15- or 16-hour Ironman, far from my best 10:27 in Lake Placid in 2011. 

It dawned on me that I was an Ironman a long time ago. It was a long time ago that I was in great shape, at least 11 years ago. I went from fat to fit a few times in that window. 

I do understand I'm heavy. Last week, I weighed in at 230 lbs, which is 40 lbs heavier than in 2011, when I raced at 190 lbs, sometimes as low as 183 lbs. Compared to 183 lbs, I'm 47 lbs heavier. 

So I wonder if my poor performance is due to my physical strength, being overweight, my bike not working right, a medical issue, age, or a mental issue. The bottom line is I'm now starting to wonder if I'll be in the type of shape by race day on December 15th that I will have a respectable time. As it stands right now, I think it will take me 7 hours plus, where I'd ideally like to be 6.5 hours or at least something under 7 hours. 

As I swam tonight, I thought about what's going on with my performance and future and put things into perspective, thinking that it will take as long as it takes. I thought I'd get into shape to have a respectable half-Ironman after 19 weeks of training, but it may not be possible. It may take me a year to build a base that I can build on. This may be a multi-year journey back to being in respectable age group athlete shape. 

I must stay positive and realize it's not a race or a journey. I need to remember I started this because I felt I was on track to an early death due to my lifestyle. Mentally, I feel much better. I used to think of death all the time, and now I don't; other than when I'm riding my bike, I'm paranoid about being hit by a car, which I never had before. I used to be in my own world and didn't even realize cars were passing me. But that's the only time I feel mortality. 

My swimming feels better. I feel faster, and I know I am slightly. I saw that a couple of my 100-yard efforts were under 2 minutes. I'm swimming better and feeling the water more than I did when I was in peak shape. I was undoubtedly faster back then, but I think I'm faster or at least feel like a better swimmer now. 

The other highlight I should be proud of is that I'm down one more notch on my belt. When I started, I was at the end and close to not being able to even pull it to the last hole, and now, as of today, I'm down to the third hole. I have to pull on it a little hard, but it's the third hole, and it's not so tight or uncomfortable that I had to loosen it later in the day. It feels natural at the third hole. 

Bike - 1:08:58 / 26.81 / 23.3 kph

Swim - 1:03:26 / 2286 meters