Soon that shirt is going to be a dress...
Monday marked the start of the 4th week on the carnivore diet, and I'm down 10.2 lbs. I'm a little surprised and disappointed it's not a little more. I was hoping it would be 12 lbs, as that seemed to be the magic number after 1 month. But I guess being 10.2 lbs down is better than nothing.
There has been a little frustration in that I see plateaus even though I'm not doing anything different. I've stayed strict with the diet plan, nothing but meat, eggs, butter, and a small amount of cheese. The only things I've been drinking are coffee, water, and carbonated water.
I'm writing this on a Saturday and Monday will be the completion of week five. This week I struggled due to frustration in seeing the scale go up and down and basically another plateau. Even to the point where I wondered if I should go off it for a week or two, screw up my body, and then restart.
I did have a dream the other night, and the message to me was to stay the course. Fight the urge and stay the course. I think it had to do with having something to drink during a social event, but like any dream, I tended to forget them by the time I woke up. In this case, I remember fighting the urge, waking up in the next day in the dream, and being happy I didn't have anything to drink.
The same thing happened last night. It was a Friday night, and I was thinking about changing my diet or even having a single drink to unwind. As I played what that would look like in my mind's eye, I saw no upside. I would only sabotage my efforts, and frankly, I'm afraid to change my diet as it's making me feel good.
I actually feel like a bit of a different person, Bryan 2.0. As I mentioned in my first blog post, I hit my goal of making it to 57 years old and partied like crazy and abused my body often with the goal of just making it to 57 years old, as that's when my grandfather died. I always said my body might be older, but I still have the mind of a mature 17-year-old. Which is true.
What's weird right now is I feel like I'm growing up, and although it sounds positive, I'm concerned I'm becoming boring. It's strange that I have no desire to go back to Bryan 1.0, yet I'm nervous about what 2.0 will become. Will I be a boring old man? Will I become totally mature? Will it become a positive transition? So many questions.
I do know one thing, Bryan 2.0 will have many fewer regrets, as I'm not going full speed and totally uninhibited due to excessive alcohol consumption. I look back at my life, and most of my regrets have been alcohol induced. I know for a fact if I wasn't inebriated, I wouldn't have those regrets.
I find myself looking back on my life often. As I've gotten older, I've forgotten much of what I did. I look at old photos, and I know it's me, but it's not me. I really loved those moments being younger in that I had no wisdom, was living in the moment, and what I lacked in experience and knowledge I made up with effort.
Looking back now, I miss the incredible energy I had and the world I lived and wish I had the wisdom I have now with the energy and motivation I had then. I would have made so many fewer mistakes and probably had much more money now.
I'm now 57 years old, and although I still do feel young in my mind, I see people my age or slightly older having died in the past 5 years. These are classmates, people I worked with, and now my youngest brother has stage 4 cancer, and they are giving him less than a year to live. He's only 50 years old.
My reality is I'm a slow learner. Not a book reader or good at taking advice from most people. Only those I respect have major accomplishments under their belt, and I can relate too. Those types of people are few and far between, so I end up learning by doing and failing. That failing is where I get my wisdom, however, it comes with the expense of pain and missing out on other things.
From a family perspective, I worked so hard and long hours when I was younger, making it my primary focus that I think back on what could have been had the wisdom I had now. Of course, it's human nature to think of all the regrets and not the good times. I look back at pictures or videos and I see the positive and think maybe I wasn't that bad.
I always worked for the success that it would bring to me and, ultimately, my family. By working hard and making money, it would allow us to do things and experience more than we would otherwise. But at the end of the day, my vision for myself when I was younger never turned out like I had those ambitious goals in my mind. I look back and see I worked very hard and could have done better had I worked smarter and been less optimistic.
What has this got to do with my carnivore diet? It's my headspace. I know I just want to lose the weight, and once I do, keep it off. That's about it. I'm not sure how it relates other than this is my first dieting to lose weight in this mindset.
In the past, it was to lose weight and feel good, and it would give me a license to party hard and gain weight, then repeat. It was a sabotage lifestyle. But all part of my life to 57-year-old plan.
Waking up today, I stepped on the scale at 215.8 lbs, and it showed that by staying the course, as my dream suggested, the weight loss would continue.
I put on my Covervette tee shirt today, and it was a nice fit at 230 lbs. It wasn't hanging low. Alice mentioned it's starting to look like a dress, and even my son mentioned I'm looking thinner.
This week I took my body measurement first time in a couple years. Will check them every month or so as another measurement to mark my progress.
215.8 lbs
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